Studies in Courage

These three case studies are part of a larger volume, "Spirit of Women: Living on ..Courageously" that was released in April 2015 as part of an institution's International Womens' Day celebrations at Ahmedabad. I had the previlege of researching and writing these stories. Read on...

Smt. Annapurna Shukla, 64

Theatre of Life

For this talented and famous actor, always jovial and spirited in nature, it is difficult to come to a conclusion as to whether her life imitated theatre or vice-versa. So closely entwined are the proceedings that it is possible destiny scripted theatre into her life! 

Six year old Anna, the eldest of three siblings, was lost, lonely and forlorn when her mom passed away. The adult-child in her thought that hereon, she will have to be her own mother – custodian of her own life! Her father, realizing this, made her to take up Bharatanatyam dance that she had a talent and theatre that she had a talent for, and sports along with the studies. The extra -curricular activities of this naughty , gregarious girl  brought  state and national level glory to herself  during her study. 

Later, as a graduate in English literature, Annapurna’s  acquaintance with  a student  leader and an amateur, lowly  actor, Harshad,  matured into a sentimental friendship. Against the wish of an upset father, the couple got married on one of the curfew bound days of Navanirman movement in 1974.  It was ironic that a different kind of nirman was taking place!

Destiny, theatre?? How about lights… camera, and ..action!!

A carrier conscious, self -made daughter with a secured financial comfort , took up responsibilities as a housewife in a nine -member strong joint family; a change came over her, she became a bahu overnight. And, she adjusted to the new environment. Her mother-in-law taught her all the chores including cooking.

Of course the couple continued with drama, acting as professionals. In 1975, Anna had a miscarriage; she was gloomy but eventually coping up with the loss, she matured further. The story of her second pregnancy is pretty interesting!

Into the 7^th month, she was acting in a play that was titled, “Aapnu kaink karone”. With what happened on the stage, the play could have been more aptly titled, “taarun shun thashe”!!

A scene from this drama required Annapurna to climb over a chair that was already on a table and then, change the light bulb; the 7-month pregnancy weight led to the one of the legs of the table to break. Down fell Anna but she seemed surprisingly all right, though in discomfort; to the credit of all, the drama was never disrupted; in fact they all improvised and continued with Anna shouting her dialogues from the wings! The baby was to be her son, Makrand Shukla who had acquired acting and dramatics in his genes when he was conceived!

Anna was on cloud nine! She experienced true happiness with the little baby in her arms. But, the next phase of her life-drama had already begun. Harshad had a friend circle consisting of who’s who of the Gujarati literature, drama and film industry; unknown to her, he had started smoking, and worse, was becoming an addict. And, an addict needs resources to continue the habit!

Meanwhile, the rise in family expenditure and reduced income forced her to look for small jobs, tuitions etcetera. Her B. Ed qualification came in handy as she started her part-time teaching career in Ahmedabad.

In 1979, Annapurna Shukla got her first, big break in Gujarati film industry; Makrand was only two and a half year old then. Soon, Aruna Irani cast her in one of her Gujarati plays; that play inspired a Hindi film, “Anokha Bandhan” in which she had a major role with Shabana Azmi. She started living out of her bag, between Bombay and Ahmedabad; the toddler Makrand was always with her, without any vanity van of course!!!  In fact, he had a brief role when he was three in the same film.

On the other hand, Harshad’s health started going down; he became irritable. Anna got an anonymous letter telling her to take care of her husband or else. She sensed trouble even as money kept on disappearing; she even lost the gold and silverware that her father had given her as wedding gifts; finally, even the lowly scooter was gone! Harshad became violent and constantly harassed her for money.  Six years into marriage and when Makrand was four year old, she confronted him for the first time in her life. Harshad left and to ensure physical and financial security for both, Anna shifted to her father’s house.

All through this action, Makrand’s education was suffering and one day, Anna was called to school for a meeting; with tears in her eyes, she told her story. The Principal was all sympathy and offered her a teaching job. Today, Anna has done 7 years in primary education and 10 years in a high school. She continues to act whenever possible and continues to shuffle between Ahmedabad and Mumbai.

Harshad was suddenly untraceable but Anna could not care less. She was sure of her being a single mother; she was determined to survive and protect her child; perhaps, the strength came from roles she had played in drama and later in films; the script written by destiny was always working! Also for Makrand. He had acted as a child artist with all the top stars of the Bollywood industry and had won laurels. In one of his award winning films as a child actor, he had to mouth a dialogue in the court scene for his reel-life divorced parents, “I will stay with my daddy and not with my mom!”  Realising that his real mother remembers the dialogue and is possibly anxious that it might come true, he reassured her, “Maa, I will stay with you forever.”

And so 1980s to 1990s was the most hectic, productive period of life for Anna. Of course, separation affected both her and her son. But that did not prevent Anna to push her son into Bharatanatyam and perform the arangetram, the dream that she herself had not realized. 

In 1984, information came in that Harshad was not only alive but is a transformed person; somewhere in Saurashtra, the once upon a time chain-smoking, abusive husband was now a Sanyasi!

Good Lord Almighty! Only the holy thou would know the definition of ‘scripting a drama’!!

Makrand secretly persisted in his quest to seek his father’s blessings for his bride and tracked down his sanyasi father. They must have had an emotional exchange of dialogues! However, Harshad is no more. It has no effect on Annapurna.

She lives on, with a kind of detachment with everyone except her own family. She is prepared for the future. Life goes on happily for Anna and her family in her house that was gifted by her father. She now has a Master’s degree; the daughter-in-law is pursuing her doctoral thesis in the subject area of Mass Media, even as the granddaughter cuddles in the laps. And Makrand is in a high profile occupation, balancing his office duties with the artistic genes.

The ‘scene’ seems perfect for a ‘shot’!

One can’t help but exclaim in wonderment! What a script for the drama that is Anna’s life! Wasn’t it Shakespeare who said ‘This world is a stage….’?

Also, Makrand can mouth with pride, the other famous filmy dialogue, “mer pass maa hai, sirf maa.”

Cliché yes, but no other sentence can end this particular script!

Niketa Ghiya, 44

Kidney Failure transformed to Opportunity

A few years back, Niketa celebrated the silver jubilee of her first kidney failure with a grand function and a charity event with musical performances by the top artists of Ahmedabad! In this background, when one personally meets this indomitable mountain of a spirit, one’s self image takes a severe beating; one gets a feeling of being a mere mortal! Good, great, rich, beautiful, successful - all the adjectives about oneself are blown to tiny specs of dust!

To call Niketa an epitome of courage is perhaps understating her character; this professional Bharatanatyam artist, enthusiasm overtly personified, has the unusual humility to accept her continuing painful life as a boon to serve the poor – now the mission of her life!

She was a 10 year old sprightly girl when she lost her father; mother Renuka looked after her and brother Nakul, then 14. Niketa was energetic and loved dancing; after seven years of training, she gave her first public performance , the arangetram, in 1984. Schooling during those growing years was always a continuing, necessary activity.

In 1985, while at her maternal uncle’s home in Mumbai enjoying the vacation, family members noticed that Niketa was looking extremely pale; she also complained of nausea and poor appetite. The close-knit family knew the girl as having very fussy eating habits. However, wisdom prevailed and Renuka and Niketa’s aunt consulted the doctors. It was discovered that her hemoglobin count was just 4 units; the doctors suspected something chronic. It is then that the shocking truth emerged; tests for renal function showed non-reversible kidney failure!

Those days, kidney transplant was advised only for 100% failed kidney function; Niketa had a 90% failure. So the specialists in Mumbai prepared her surgically for future dialysis and sent her back to school in Ahmedabad.

Her condition fast deteriorated with symptoms like high blood pressure and breathing difficulties Niketa was brought back to Mumbai; she was put on pre-transplant dialysis– three times in one week, 4 hours each time. Renuka became the kidney donor; in a way, the mother from here onwards became Niketa’s pillar of strength. Her Mumbai-based maternal uncle assured the family of total financial support. For Niketa however, the most painful, tortuous journey of life had just begun!

She took a break of one year from her school during which the family even visited USA. High doses of steroids (to prevent rejection) added an extra 35 kgs to the otherwise beautiful, fair girl; the facial hair added to the agony of her self-image. With loss of hair, a disfigured face and body, and severe pain in the legs due to excessive weight, she suffered bouts of severe depression.

She returned to Ahmedabad to complete her 12^th grade, and later obtained her Bachelor’s degree in Commerce. She loved kids so why not do something that would involve her with children, she thought. Renuka was in total support. So, off she went to Mumbai again and took up a one-year diploma course in Early Childhood Care and Education.

For about 5 years, Niketa had a job involving children and she enjoyed life. She was back to life, bright and fun-loving. But unknown to her, the mother’s transplanted kidney was also failing! This was in 1996, when she was just 25! She was bedridden for about six months; she lost weight, became frail and irritable.

Those days, Ahmedabad had poor health facilities for renal patients; the dialysis was poor and showed unsatisfactory results for Niketa; she was directed to a new facility at Nadiad, about 50 kms away; in 1997, it was here at the now-famous Muljibhai Patel Urology Super Speciality Hospital that she started the dialysis routine all over again, week after week, thrice a week but always driving down from Ahmedabad for the 7 am appointment.. While she was always stubborn, now, she also started becoming cranky and short-tempered.

She also became a living skeleton with chronic nausea, constant high blood pressure and a reduced intake of food; she took this all in her stride. The dialysis routine continued.

One day, seeing her close friend performing his arangetram, her eyes lighted up!  No dancing for 15 long years? No way!” The strong-willed girl found out a Guru and persuaded him for performance oriented training! What about that strict nephrologist?  “Dancing was the purpose of my life and therefore, I and only I will decide about my fate”, she shot back. Her mother too had to give in to her stubborn daughter’s wish. The strictly disciplinarian nephrologist, Dr. M. M. Rajapurkar had realized that his patient was someone different!

March 28, 1999 is the most precious day in Niketa’s life. It is the annual day of the Nadiad Urology hospital; and Niketa is to dance for an 8-min performance. The doctor is on stage – just in case! She performs based on the bhajan, thumak chalat Ramachandra..!

For a second or so, there is a stunned silence ..and then,… a thunderous standing ovation! Niketa is overwhelmed with emotions. Strangely, she feels strong!

During her dialysis visits to Nadiad, she discovered that poor patients often missed a dialysis session or would come late because of poor transport facilities. When asked why so, they told her about the unaffordable nature of the renal treatment. Then, suddenly realization dawned on Niketa! She had taken the financial aspects of a renal ailment for granted because she never had to pay; the family was looking after that!

That sudden realization completely jolted her into doing something for the poor kidney patients. This and  her own doctor Dr. Rajapukar’s 12 hours working schedules despite his own extremely  adverse health condition ‘reformed, motivated and inspired’ her.

In 2000, her first performance for charity was staged in Vadodara; with support from friends, and doctors for organizing the same, Rs 3 lac were collected – all by cheque in favour of the Nadiad Hospital.

The tremendous success of her first performance led to her being invited to dance at Rajkot, Valsad and other cities including even Mumbai and Chennai. Niketa was completely rejuvenated! Getting into a costume and dancing on stage made her forget the pain and depression. She attributes the success to her Guruji and the dance troupe colleagues.

Later, she even organized several musical evenings towards charity, never taking single paisa for herself. This has persuaded many artists to independently raise funds for her charity activities that now include pediatric renal patients.

Meanwhile, Niketa went for a second kidney transplant in 2006 (a cadaver transplant). However, post-surgery, that kidney never worked. In fact, it had to be taken out to avoid infection. She lay exhausted and critical. No more transplants, she decided!

She now has a self-dialysis machine that she has been trained to operate; she has a permanently inserted catheter for that. She still has to visit Nadiad once a week for full, supervised dialysis. She continues with all the drugs, minerals and hemoglobin injections. She has had a total of seven operations to date including two screws drilled in externally on her left leg to prevent widening of a painful osteoporosis related hairline fracture!

Mom Renuka lives on in excellent health at 76 (but not looking the age at all) with the remaining kidney and is a picture of courage and fortitude – always smiling! She is her source of constant inspiration and courage. One cannot forget Dr. Rajapurkar who still supervises his ‘special’ patient; he now is the father figure for Niketa!

Meanwhile, the idea of charity has become a crusade. Unsolicited funds flow in; the charity account has reached a total of Rs. 75 lakh and still counting.  To offers of a kidney, she says no thank you. Niketa is happy, not showing any outward signs of distress; she takes her ‘son’, the pudge Moguley for a stroll, and once a week, even to Nadiad!

Despite suffering intense pain at times and continuing general weakness, what sets Niketa apart in her own league, is her total self-less acceptance of status quo, and what’s more, her empathy for the poor patients. Looking back, she calmly says with a smile, “Had I not been ill, I would have taken my life for granted, just as most of us normal people do. I think this illness was meant for me and through me, to help the poor. There is now a sense of fulfillment of a mission; in fact, if I have got love, affection and fame, it is only because of kidney failure.”

That is Niketa Ghia’s logic of her life; believe it or not!

 Soumya Joshi, 48

Tragedy and Transformation

Life, for most of us, is pretty straightforward. Childhood, education, teenage, marriage, children, a good job and retirement – everything ‘happy,’ and nothing significant! Soumya had the same pre-destined routine till suddenly, and out of nowhere, tragedy struck; unknown to her, life-changing processes set in, processes that re-cast her character - from a banking careerist to being a self-taught, home-based corporate communicator, from an ordinary human being to a talented achiever. Life…could also be like that!

Soumya is lean but a sprightly, petite woman, and a very ebullient character; she is zestful, animated and expressive in conversation. One would take a shocked double take, if she says that her husband is no more. What??

Soumya’s was a regular childhood in Vadodara. It was her Tamilian mother who persuaded her to take to dancing and singing as a hobby.  She loved dancing and she began training in Bharatantyam. “I had the best Gurus those days in Vadodara and over a period of time, I got more inclined towards the practice of dancing rather than the theory of it”, she says.

In 1991, Soumya left Vadodara and her casual hobby, and married Abhay Joshi who worked in Ahmedabad in the subject area of corporate communications. Married life was a happy period during which they even had a daughter (who is presently an intern as an architect in Istanbul). By 1999, Soumya got a comfortable job with ICICI Bank.

One day in April, 2010, her daughter called from Ahmedabad, “Dad is not feeling well and is getting admitted to a hospital.”  She rushed to the hospital only to see her husband slowly going into coma. She wanted to talk to her husband; in response, she saw only tears flowing down from those closed eyes!

And within three days, Abhay was gone!

Soumya was only 44 then, with a daughter to raise and a bereaved mother-in-law to take care of. As the period of mourning passed, she experienced a sudden emptiness. She recollects, “I continued with ICICI after Abhay left us, but I withdrew into a shell …would work mechanically, like a robot with no emotions”. 

One fine morning, she thought, “Why not help the ad agency complete all the work that was left behind at home because of Abhay’s sudden demise?”  She knew she had no experience in that field but then, it was a great excuse to quit the bank job she no longer enjoyed!

The ad agency agreed and slowly she migrated to a new profession – corporate communications – an area in which she is very busy today, working from home.

Soumya was still fresh from a personal loss, and continued to build walls around her when one day, she came across an ad about a dance school. A casual inquiry brought her face to face with her casual, neglected childhood hobby – Bharatanatyam dancing! This time however, she took interest in both, theory as well as practice of the dance style; she now had the maturity, and the wisdom borne out of her age anjd the experience.

One thing led to another and after two years or so, Soumya actually performed, as one of the artists, in a well known dance drama, “Savitri”. That night, as the performance ended with a standing ovation, she finally let go of all the walls that she had wrapped herself in. She ‘felt a tremendous sensation of emotional release that can only be described as bliss, a strange sense of contentment’. The experience was nothing short of a catharsis for Soumya!

However, at that very moment, those previously never experienced emotions jostled her memory to remember something else, something improbable but true; something strange yet stunningly inspiring; that ‘something’ was her husband’s by-the-by remark, two weeks before he had passed away!

“You know, Abhay himself was casual and not so much interested in music and dance. Just two weeks before his death however, and while relaxing and chatting on a Sunday, he had casually told me, ‘Soumya, you must take to dancing and music, because therein lies your salvation!’ ”.

Soumya still can’t believe what he said. She adds, “It was a sudden, rather funny remark at that point of life, completely out of his character to having said so… and I still continue to wonder whether he had any premonition of his death”.

Be that as it may, Soumya went from a banking career to a self-taught, home based corporate communicator – but not before bearing out the loss of a young husband. And after that unfortunate tragedy, events transformed her from an ordinary human being to a talented achiever. Mind you, all this in just three years!

Today, she still remembers Abhay’s inexplicable remark, in all its myriad of meanings.

“Soumya, you must take to dancing and music, because therein lies your salvation”.

How strangely prophetic!